Indo Myths 6: President Jokowi & Ocean Queen, Nyi Roro Kidul

Proof of Jokowi having an affair

Proof! The President of Indonesia, Joko Widodo, is having an affair with Nyi Roro Kidul: The Queen of the Southern Sea.

Ever since we could personify anything, the ocean has been predominantly female (except when you’re a Spanish sailor on rough seas; then She becomes a masculine adversary).

In Indonesia they’ve come to call Her Ratu Laut Selatan: the Queen of the Southern Sea (AKA Ni Roro Kidul). Her figurative mother was melting Himalayan ice in flow to the ocean, known as the Queen of the Ganges.

In 2004, She rose up and swept away 230,000 people in one of the clumsiest attempts at affection in recent world history. Hindus and Muslims alike live in fear of Her, trying to guess and appease Her mysterious wants and needs. This likely leads to a lot of animal sacrifice, prayer, superstitions, and ceremonies to make sure the Queen is sufficiently sophonsified.

Jokowi & Ratu Laut Selatan

The Pres receives a suggestive painting of the Queen Herself.

For example, it is said that green clothing – especially t-shirts – infuriate Her. A visitor to Central Java wouldn’t need to walk far along Parangtritis in a green shirt before the locals would warn them – if they hadn’t already been swept out towards a panic-filled death in her too-salty void.

Another supposition is that the Queen just needs a room. For this reason, rustic hotels and bungalows along the coast of West Java, an area She visited in 2004, always block one bedroom for Her, and whomever might be carried in Her undertow.

Perhaps this room-blocking has something to do with her former lover, Indonesia’s first President, Bung Karno.

Behind every great man there’s a great woman – and then there’s another woman from whom he gets all of his ‘wahoo juice‘, as Tom Robbins calls it. Bung Karno’s mistress was no less than the Queen of the Southern Sea.

Really though, the Royal Bloodline is salinated; all of Java’s kings had her, and to this day the King of Solo climbs a certain tower in hopes of a little action with the ocean chick – whenever it gets a little breezy.

His fans say that there is something going on between the Ocean Queen and Indonesia’s latest President, Pak Joko Widodo, and are looking for signs like confidence, charisma, spunk – and a little wahoo.

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